The World’s Rarest T-shirt and How to Get One
Before 1970, logo t-shirts barely existed. But by the time I was in
high school, around ’76 or so, cool t-shirts were in demand. Wearing
some funky t-shirt that nobody else had was a one-way ticket to
Coolsville. But they were hard to get. You had to actually attend the
concert or event. There was no Amazon, and the shirts that you could
find on the shelf at JC Penney or in the Sears catalog were strictly
These days t-shirts are ubiquitous. Every company, club and event
produces a promotional shirt. Custom ones are available from hundreds
of online shops. There are racks of wicked t-shirts available at every
department store, even Target, including reproductions of classic,
vintage tees. If you’re truly hip, you can even find actual vintage
tees on eBay.
But I have a shirt that’s extremely rare.
It’s a Cabal Fang t-shirt. The
only way to get your hands on one is to practice the martial art known
as Cabal Fang. You have to show up and sweat. If you stick around long
enough we’ll give you one. You cannot purchase one with any currency
other than perspiration, determination, dedication, and friendship.
Note that our shirt doesn’t say “I’m a bad-ass martial arts instructor,” “Keep Calm and Kick Butt” or “Look at me, I have a black belt in awesome.”
Our shirt is a mystery. If you want to have any idea what Cabal Fang
is, you have to ask the person wearing it (or at least take the time
to google it). But if you really want to know what Cabal Fang is, you’ll have to go on a bit of a quest. You’ll have to find and join an existing club to start one of your own.
Cabal Fang has no uniforms, and there are no tuition payments, belts
or trophies. Your greatest achievements will be written on your heart
and soul, not on your sleeve.
As for your t-shirt, well it may indeed proclaim that you are as
tough as nails inside and out. It’s just printed in invisible ink.